Obinna Monday: fun with scammers

also see: Mr. Johnson Peterson: fun with scammers

This is an email thread between myself and a group of would-be scammers who tried to rip me off via Craigslist. All of the emails are real, and were sent/received exactly as printed below (except for my name/email being edited out, and the colors).

  this color is used for emails written by them: Obinna Monday / Allen Kissdon, Denise / Dede Malcolm
  this color is used for emails written by me
  this color is used for comments I've added while putting this page together

This exchange went from 5/22/2007 to 7/11/2007. I posted a computer for sale on craigslist.org and "Obinna Monday" was one of several scammers who responded to that post. It was the standard, "you're selling item for $X, so I will pay you $X + $Y, then you send me item and a check for $Y". Apparently some folks fall for this, which is kind of pathetic. Anyway, the scam is that they send you a bogus cashiers check which you deposit into your bank, then you send the product and a personal check for the difference. By the time your bank has realized their cashiers check was fake, you're screwed. Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_fraud

I was curious to see how far it would go and wanted to see one of their checks, so I decided to play along. And not just play along, but try to be as utterly stupid, clueless and naive as possible. I knew their game from the beginning, so this was all for fun.

Enjoy!
- Kaan

From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 22, 2007 1:35:11 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Dear Seller,
Compliments of the day to you, My name is Allen. I
saw your adverts posted for sale at Craigslist, and i'm highly interested
in purchasing the items posted, so the issue of communicating is to make
it known to you that we are in need of your Items and to furnish us more
about your Items. kindly get back to me with present conditions and the last
price offer of your items and I can only raise a Certified Check.
for the mode of payments.
I will be hoping to hear from you as soon as you can...
Regards,
Allen

Compliments of the day! Is that how they greet each other in Nigeria? Maybe that's just secret scammer-greeting-speak.

Also, notice the email info - sender name "obinna monday" but address "allenkissdon" (Allen Kissdon? Allen Kiss Don?), and he signs the email (this one and all others) as "Allen". 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 23, 2007 10:40:11 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
hi Allen,
thanks to you for compliments of the day. I would like to resolve the issue of communicating the sale of this item. you are interested it? the conditions are great excellent. certified check is fine. do you want buy?
thank you
Trying to write as poorly as they do, might make the transaction go more smoothly? Plus, it's fun. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 28, 2007 3:49:35 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hello ,
Thanks for the mail, but presently now I am off the shores of Norway where I work as a contractor overseas. So i will have to instruct my colleague in my hometown states USA to send you a check via a courier service, since that is the only means of payment I can offer now due to my present location. Please send me
FULL NAME
FULL CONTACT ADRESS
PHONE NUMBER

so that I can instruct my colleague to send you the check to enable me get it on time. Never bother about the shipping I will handle it myself. I look forward to hear from you as soon as possible.

Alots of thanks,

Allen.

Note: he's in Norway on 5/28

"Never bother about the shipping" - you got it! I ain't shipping you a damn thing. 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 28, 2007 12:52:15 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

Ok that is sounds great! here are my address info:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

just let me to know when you send the check. when i am receive the payment, i will do make remove the item from the website so that others cannot buy it. great success.

I gave them my PO Box address, also my cellphone number. I was really hoping I would get some bizarre phone calls.

At this point, I had already sold the computer (to a real person). 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 29, 2007 9:25:25 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hello Kaan XXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for the response , so just want to let you know that you will be recieveing the payment of the iteam any moment from this week to next week by the courier service and the payment was made out in the amount of a certified bank cashiers check of $15.000 by my colleague so pls let me trust you with my funds, and all you need to do is as soon as you receive the payment take it to your bank to get it cashed out and deduct the payment of the iteam and the balance will be sent back to my shipping company in order for them to come over for the picking up and other items which they will be shipping for me in India. So please I would need you to do me this favour to avoid any delay in shipping it cos they will also be shipping some goods for me in india to my house in the states, of which from india to your own location which they will be coming over for the picking up of the iteam. I will be compesating you with $20 for any stress you migth go through maybe during the sending of the balance to the shippers via westernunion money transfer so after the transaction, you will have to deduct the total of ur amount for the iteam. And as soon as you receive the payment pls do mail me as soon as possible. And i will like you to make the bill of sale ready,make it . and also i will like you to remove the listing of the iteam out from the site and count it sold to me okay awaiting to hear from you as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Allen

$15,000 !! I think I was asking ~$1,000 for the computer, why on earth would anyone send 15-times the asking price? I know that's the scam, but who actually falls for this? And he will compensate me with "$20 for any stress I might go through"... what?

I can't imagine these scammers are good at typing, hope most of above email was cut+paste. Otherwise it would have taken him several hours of hunt+peck on some old busted computer under the hot Nigerian sun...

Note: he's in India on 5/29, 1 day later

Consistency = F. He can't keep his story straight. India or Norway? Also "to my house in the states"? I know of no state where anyone speaks English as idiotically as this. 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 29, 2007 10:22:44 AM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

ok hi Allen

This sounds great. Let's make do it. When I do receive the payment from you, I will go to my bank and cash the check, and then send you a new check for the remaining balance. It sounds like you travel a lot. Last week you wrote that you were in Norway! Wow! Those are great countries. I would like one day that I make travel to visit there.

I will email to you when I receive the check.

thank you 

From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 29, 2007 5:14:27 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Allen,

ok I already removed my posting from craigslist.org, since you are ready to make great payment to me. I will let you know when it is arrive!

thank you

already removed... because it was sold to someone legitimate! 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 30, 2007 6:57:21 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hello Kaan XXXXXXXXXXX....

plz am sorry plzi need u to plz rell send me ur adders just want to let you know that you will be recieveing the payment of the iteam any moment from this week to next wee.thank u 4 that

FULL NAME
FULL CONTACT ADRESS
PHONE NUMBER

What on earth happened to this dude's writing skeelz? "plz am sorry plzi need u to plz rell send me ur adders"
His last emails weren't great, but where did the 12yo h4ck3r-speak come from?

Attentiveness: F... I already sent my full contact info on May 28. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 30, 2007 7:21:39 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hello Kaan XXXXXXXXXXX

Greetings and top of the day to you out there.I am glad to
inform you that the has received and approved of your appointment
to be our shipping company. We would be contacting you anytime soon
as your contact address has been put in place for payments expected
from our momement to be mailed out to you.I would keep you updated
so that you know when exactly to expect payments.I hope to hear
from you soon. plz send ur full name full address phone number plz
i need it

Note: this email was sent 24 minutes after the previous one, what up with that?

It looks like it's mostly written by the adult-Obinna/Allen, but then the 12yo h4ck3r got ahold of the keyboard again at the end.

Attentiveness: mega-F... "plz send ur full name full address phone number plz i need it" I already sent it you, and you fools just hassled me about it half an hour ago! I know there's a team of you guys running around all crazy in the Nigerian sun trying to get your shit together about ripping me off, but damn... you gotsta improve the communication, hand out memos, team meetings... somethin'... 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: May 30, 2007 9:53:52 AM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

here my many informations:

kaan XXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXX
(XXX) XXX-XXXX

since you are sending payment, i have removed the item from the craigslist so that others cannot make buy it. please do keep send payment to me immediately.

thank you

Clearly I'm dealing with top-notch criminals here, this is the 2nd email with full contact info. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: June 1, 2007 1:05:42 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Thanks for the response , you will be recieveing the payment of the iteam any moment from nest week to next week by the courier service and the payment was made out in the amount of a certified bank cashiers check of $30.000 by my colleague so pls let me trust you with my funds, and all you need to do is as soon as you receive the payment take it to your bank to get it cashed out and deduct the payment of the iteam and the balance will be sent back to my shipping company in order for them to come over for the picking up and other items which they will be shipping for me in India.thanks hope to hrea 4rm u very soon thanks.

$30,000 !! Woohoo!

Consistency score: C... he remembered that he's in India, but the amount changed from 15k to 30k 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: June 1, 2007 1:16:03 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
OK THANKS FOR UR INFOR PLZ MAKE SURE U KEEP INTOUCH WITH ME I WILL SENDING U THE PAY VERY SOON FROM NEST WEEK THANKS

Thank goodness, the 12-year-old is back... AND NOW HE'S SHOUTING AT ME 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: June 1, 2007 5:58:43 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

ok great excellent. I am eager great happy wait for your check arrive. as I did have previous wrote, I take item from craigslist so it is not list for other to see. I am think this deal is great, and eager await your check payment money. 

From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 5, 2007 10:32:52 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
U WILL BE RESIVEING THE PAYMENT VERY SOON PLZ MAKE SURE U KEEP INTOUCH WITH ME OK

OK PLZ OK GOOD PLZ GRET OK !!! jeeez... 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 5, 2007 2:27:16 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

Ok this is great news! I will let you know once I have received the check payment. I am so glad to finally sell this item! It has been difficult! This is great! You will buy it soon! I have been very greatly stressed that it does not might do sell, but now that is over! And this is like a dream of good fortune!

I will write you again soon when I do make receive your check.

Did I sufficiently convey my faux enthusiasm? And let me tell you, it doesn't get any better than a dream of good fortune. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 7, 2007 5:43:28 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hello Kaan. Take note, i will you contact Ms. Denise
Malcolm for the payment. Her Email Address is:
denisemalcolm88@yahoo.com. Tel No: +16478342387. So
contact on behalf of me. Shell issue the check to you.
Waiting to hear from you. My Regards.

Note: real-life scammer's phone number is (647) 834-2387 which is in Ontario, Canada. Call now! 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 7, 2007 5:51:29 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

Compliments of the day to you. I am excite great happy, but not understand what I should make do. is check come in mail now? who is Ms. Denise Malcolm? should i do make phone call her? please i do not please understand please.

thank you 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 8, 2007 2:08:16 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL. YES, MS. DENISE MALCOLM SHES MY
ASSISTANT FOR ALL PAYMENT I MADE. AND FOR CHECK IS
COMING DIRECT TO YOU MAILING ADDRESS. YOU CAN EMAIL
HER OR CALL HER. BUT I HAVE ALREADY INFORMED HER THAT
YOURE GOING CONTACT HER FOR THE PAYMENT. WAITING TO
HEAR FROM YOU. MY REGARDS.

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME !?!?!? 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 8, 2007 6:52:10 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Dear Kaan,
Have you contacted Ms. Denise Malcolm? I need to be knowing very information how far you've gone throungh with her.
Kind Regards
Allen

Dude, you must chill! I work full-time during the day (I've got this thing called "a job"), and that means I only dedicate time to screw with you douchebags in the evening. I know this is the 2nd email you sent to me without a reply, but when they're both in the SAME DAY and the first one showed up at 2am, then you're just nagging me. Don't nag, man. 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 8, 2007 9:22:16 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

Ok hi great. I have not make contact Ms. Denise Malcolm. I am do write email to her now. 

From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: payment
Date: June 8, 2007 9:24:47 PM CDT
To:   denisemalcolm88@yahoo.com

Compliments of the day to you. I am do make contact you so that we can do make payment for item. What should we do? How are you?

thank you
Kaan 

From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re..........1.8ghz G5, 1.5gb ram, 320gb hd, SuperDrive
Date: June 10, 2007 7:42:35 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Okay! till hear from you. 

From:   denisemalcolm88@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: payment
Date: June 10, 2007 11:29:46 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Dear Kaan

Thank you for contacting me. Payment will likely be issued early this new week. I will advise when it has been sent.

Denise

Whoa, Denise actually sounds kind of normal... 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 11, 2007 5:21:47 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
How far? did you mail her? i didnt heard anything from
ms. denise & you! my regards. Allen

"How far?"... ??? 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 11, 2007 5:25:13 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Allen,
Good nice far. I make email Ms. Denise on Friday, and she make email yesterday. I am eager await payment from her. I will make email you when I receive payment.

Also, I am curious. Who is Ms. Denise? Is she your assistant? Or your secretary? Or maybe she is your exciting mistress? :)

Compliments of the day,
Kaan

Not just a regular mistress, but an exciting one!

Somewhere around here I received a phone call from Ms. Denise. She sounded totally normal, which was a big disappointment, Canadian number (have you called her yet? (647) 834-2387 Call now! She's waiting to hear from you!). Very brief chat, she confirmed my address, we talked for maybe 30 seconds. I remember being totally caught off guard, was driving when she called. I completely missed the chance to talk like the idiot I had created in my emails... damn. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 12, 2007 9:06:48 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hi Kaan,

Ms. Denise, she's my assistant, waiting to hear from you 

From:   DeDe Malcolm <eliteconsultingservices@yahoo.com>
Subject: Notice
Date: June 14, 2007 7:43:58 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Dear Kaan XXXXXXXXXXX

I was contacted by Mr. Allen to help arrange for payments to be sent to you.

I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that payment has been issued and mailed.

Please contact me when it arrives for details on your next steps.

Please also take note of my new email address here.

Regards
Denise Malcolm
778-317-5376

Note: Denise has a new phone number! Call now! Also in Canada, this time 778 for Vancouver -- (778) 317-5376. In case you missed it, her other number is (647) 834-2387.

They've finally "sent payment" (I never actually received anything from them, ever), and just 3 WEEKS since first email contact (May 22 to June 14). I'm baffled that anyone can be taken by this scam... 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Notice
Date: June 14, 2007 10:22:58 AM CDT
To:   DeDe Malcolm <eliteconsultingservices@yahoo.com>

Compliments of the day to you.

I am excite eager to receive payment. I will notify you by email (and Mr. Allen) that payment has arrive, but not until it has arrive. I must await it arrive before I can notify you of that, because then how else could I know that it arrives? :) So once it is arrive, I will do notify.

Kaan 

From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 14, 2007 7:05:58 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hi kaan, How are you today? hope everything is okay!
ive not heard anything. and what its your last
discussion with ms. denise malcolm? pls kindly get
back to me

Um, you haven't heard anything SINCE MY EMAIL NINE HOURS AGO SAYING I'M WAITING FOR THE CHECK TO ARRIVE?!? Surely you're waiting on pins and needles, I know. This could be the first score for you and your scammer idiot friends. But seriously, read your emails. 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 14, 2007 9:22:04 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Allen,

Of course, I understand, I do. Today I receive email from Ms. Denies and she make email say the check should come to me, and that it should be soon. She did not gives me an exact date of arrive, so I do not know the exact date of arrive. But I hope it is soon! Of course. Could you please remind me how much is it for? The amount? I will deduce the cost of the item and send you a check for remainder.

Also, is it ok if my checks have kittens on them? I did make special order of personal checks that have kittens printed. This is what they look like: http://www.imagechecks.com/shop/product.aspx?ProductID=IPKPCHK(Base)&CategoryName=&SubcategoryName=CKSTD-IC(Base)&CategoryCode=

please do let me know if this is ok. I do not want to cause any problems, I know they are not very professional looking, but I think kittens are great happy, so I make them on my check. :)

Kaan

"Ms. Denies" above was not a typo

Kitten checks!
Great happy!

Though I have zero evidence to support this theory, I think there might be a correlation between kitten check owners and scam victims. It's like I'm saying, "hey, I'm ripe for rip-off", right? Plus, they're cute. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 15, 2007 12:49:07 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hi Mr. Kaan,

Thanks for your mail, please i will like you contact Ms. Denise how much money she wrote on the check? And as far the Kittens their okay.
Thanks
Allen

"kittens their okay" yeeeeeessssssss!! 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 18, 2007 6:49:26 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hi Kaan, how are you doing today? i hope youre
communicating with Ms. Denise? i want to you to be
mailing her, and you recieved the check you let me
know and ms. denise okay? My Regards. Allen

I'm great. Where's my check? 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: I am not happy with you!!
Date: June 20, 2007 12:37:30 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Mr. Kaan, How are you doing? Mr. Kaan, why did you
tell me you have recieved the check since on
12/06/2007. Well, have deposited the check? And how
many days did the bank told you to come back for the
cash? Waiting to hear from you. My Regards. Allen

Still great. Where's my check?

I didn't tell you I received the check, because I haven't received it yet. Please see previous emails. Oh wait... you don't read those, do you? 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: I am not happy with you!!
Date: June 20, 2007 1:19:54 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

ok oh no, I did not yet receive any check yet!! please ok do not be not happy with me!! i did not receive the check yet... i will let you know when i do...

compliments of the day to you

I really hadn't received the check yet, which is unfortunate because my next move was to take a picture of myself holding the check, joyous celebration, party hat, etc., then photoshop a flying cat headed right for me, about to knock the check out of my hands into some unbelievable disaster (open skyscraper window, bridge, freeway, canyon, world war, etc.). I would have sent them photos and an elaborate story, and of course save a copy of the check for others to see. Do scammers use kitten checks, too? The world may never know. (Note: if anyone ever tries to tell you what kind of checks scammers do use, it's because they themselves were scam victims at some point and mostly likely have kitten checks at home.)

It only occurred to me after this exchange was over that I could have just faked the check and done the photoshop thing anyway... damn. 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: ok
Date: June 20, 2007 5:23:47 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Alright no problem, i will be waiting. Thanks. Allen 

From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ABT THE PAYMENT
Date: June 26, 2007 2:41:17 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hello Mr. Kaan, How are you doing? have you got the
check? pls let me know bcos am so worried. Thanks.
Allen.

I'm super. No check yet. What up, dog? 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: 
Date: June 27, 2007 3:46:22 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Hi Mr. Kaan,

How are you? hope you recieved my last mail i send to you?

I'm fine? But still no check... 
From:   DeDe Malcolm <eliteconsultingservices@yahoo.com>
Subject: info
Date: June 27, 2007 7:32:10 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS

Mr. XXXXXXXXXXX

Can you please get back to me with a detailed account of what happened regarding the payment for Mr. Allen.

Regards
Denise Malcolm
778-317-5376

Well over a month at this point. I'm getting bored and they're getting feisty... time to mix it up a bit, tell them I'm backing out.

Have you called Ms. Denise yet? Exciting Mistress! Call now! 24-hours a day
Two numbers for your convenience: (778) 317-5376 or (647) 834-2387 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: info
Date: June 27, 2007 12:37:54 PM CDT
To:   DeDe Malcolm <eliteconsultingservices@yahoo.com>

i did not make receive the payment. i am confused and upset. i do not like this situation. i have been dealing with mr. allen for 1 months already, and there is no payment yet. i do not wish to proceed with this transaction. 

From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: Re: 
Date: June 27, 2007 12:39:12 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Mr. Allen, I receive you email recently, but I stil did not make receive the payment. I am confuse and upset. i do not like this situation. we have been doing email for 1 months already, and there is no payment yet. i feel this is dangerous and unhappy situation, and i make worry. i do not wish to proceed with this transaction.

Dangerous AND unhappy! 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Re:
Date: June 27, 2007 1:03:57 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hi kaan, dont be upset i want you to be relax soon the
payment will be with you. and again i want you to
contact denise again. i did you have her new email
address? my regards. allen

Haha, he's getting nervous, but he wants me to relax! 
From:   DeDe Malcolm <eliteconsultingservices@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: info
Date: June 27, 2007 5:04:15 PM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Unfortunately we cannot control the mail however I do know that it was sent to you at the beginning of the month.

"Unfortunately we cannot control the mail"... unacceptable! The deal is OFF!! 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: HELLO KAAN GET BACK TO ME SOON
Date: July 5, 2007 11:48:28 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hello hw are doing i am so sorry for the delay i hpoe u still have my iteam.plz i need u to plz help with this farvour i hope u will do that for me because i can trust on u.dennis called me and told me to only mis of send u payment is to send the throug transcation i hope u understand what i meand by that.
plz what i want u to for me is to send me your (BOA) account infor or CREDIT CARD infor the money will be tranfer into account as soon u seed the for infor to me.
You no what to do for ur secerty resason u will have to wildraw all the u have in that accout or ur credit card or bank of (BOA).I no u are confess about all this transcation both never mein i will personly come and pice my iteam after the transcation.
the money to u his to transfer the money ur account (BOA) or ur credit card that his the only way i could send the payment to u.plz i need u to me this favour that is the only way i could pay i no u can trust me.plz if u do not have the account plz try and open it immtedity okay hope to hear from u soon.

It's nice to hear from the 12-year-old again, but he totally changed the rules! He wants me to send bank account / credit card info, but I still want a physical, printed check. Phht...

"dennis called me and told me to only mis of send u payment is to send the throug transcation i hope u understand what i meand by that."... what the hell? No, I did not understand that. "mis" == http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mis? 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: HELLO KAAN GET BACK TO ME SOON
Date: July 5, 2007 11:30:59 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Mr. Allen,
ok I receive this email. I think I understand your suggest, but I don't understand. how do I know which numbers to give? when I do make go to bank, they give me cash. what do i do? what is "BOA"? i thought that was a kind of snake. do you collect snakes? I do not like snakes! so also i must make point of unhappy situation with this transaction! i make look through my emails and see that i first receive email from you on 22 May, and then we trade many emails for days and weeks, and i thought that such good luck had come to me, but after we reach 5 weeks pass then i start to make worry. now we are 6 weeks since your initial email, and i make more worry... i do not know if i can trust you now... how do i know to trust? how can you show me? i good want make honest, and i feel that i do not know which is true anymore. is mr. dennis really your assistant? maybe she is your secret mistress after all! maybe you do not like personal checks with kittens on them, and that is why you now ask for my BOA instead! (but i already tell you i do not have any snakes!) how can i trust you?
Kaan

A photo of some drunk bastard wallowing in his sorrows would have been perfect here.
And Mr. Dennis is your secret mistress, isn't she he! 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: HELLO KAAN GET BACK TO ME SOON
Date: July 5, 2007 11:39:01 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

also, i forgot to give compliments of the day to you.

Damn, forgot to include this in previous email. Gotta be polite... 
From:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: HELLO KAAN GET BACK TO ME SOON
Date: July 6, 2007 10:44:10 AM CDT
To:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Hello Kaan i got ur mail eaily this morning i dont not understand what u mean by snakes?what i ask u his go and open (bank of america) account and i will send the money to ur account.dat his the only means i could send u the money plz u have te bea with me i know will have been on this trascation for long but u have to trust me this time around.As for dennis she my assistant plz i dont wont u worried ur self about anything u just open the account and i will transfer the money to that account as soonas possible hope to hear from u soon okay.have a nice day
regards
allen

July 6 !!

W.
T.
F.

How do these clowns get anything - even five bucks - from anyone? 
From:   MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Subject: Re: HELLO KAAN GET BACK TO ME SOON
Date: July 11, 2007 2:37:54 PM CDT
To:   obinna monday <allenkissdon@yahoo.com>

hi Allen,
Compliments of the day to you.
I thought you meant BOA like the snake. like this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boa_constrictor
there are many more photos here:
http://images.google.com/images?q=boa

that is not what you said? You asked me to send you my BOA but as I told you I do not like snakes! I do not understand what snakes have to do with this transaction. do you like snakes?

so what should I do? please? I still do not feel comfortable and make very uneasy. how can we prove that this is a situation where I trust you? perhaps you can send me a photo of yourself? that might to make me feel less nervous and discomfort.

Kaan
This was the last email, I never heard from any of them again...